conversationparade:

[step 1] open your mouth as wide as possible. make sure to stick out your tongue as far as you can, too, since kisses are like, 90% that thing

[step 2] find someone to kiss. you will know they want to kiss because their tongue will also be extended at full length

[step 3] move in for the kill

tatermo:

I hate picking up miscellaneous things in video games.

I just never know if I should keep them or sell them.

“Oh, I picked up a piece of wire? Better keep it until the end of the game.”

Reblogging specifically for the (flipped) Progenitus

4 Life. 

RIP

The iron I carry let off more than steam, already had a baby momma when I turned fourteen.

paulftompkins:

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Marriage is one thing, but this is going TOO FAR!

THINK OF THE HELICOPTERS! HOW WILL YOU EXPLAIN IT TO THEM?

I’m lookin for a dime, that’s top of the line. Cute face, lil waist, with a big behind.